


you know better, babe (you know better, babe) than to smile at me (smile at me) like that

by namedawesome



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV) Devil Reveal, Mentions of Suicide Attempt, anyway, can i tag Hozier?, its really just them, really it was supposed to be short!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:00:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22725808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/namedawesome/pseuds/namedawesome
Summary: Chloe walked into Lux. She wasn’t sure that she should have been there, but she was. She was also… she was worried about her partner. About Lucifer… He was… he had been acting strange… sad… sad and crying out for help by acting out and she was just… She was worried about him.He was at the piano, looked like he had been there for a while. He was just staring at the keys but then… then he looked up and met her eyes with his like he sensed her presence. His eyes were dark and angry, but it wasn’t… It was like he hated himself, like he was angry at himself, and he had been earlier, but… Thiswashow he had been earlier, and she had been worried, and seeing him now, she was even more worried.(Episode tag to "Monster")
Relationships: Chloe Decker & Lucifer Morningstar, Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar
Comments: 38
Kudos: 282





	you know better, babe (you know better, babe) than to smile at me (smile at me) like that

**Author's Note:**

> uuhhhhhhh this isn't a valentines day fic but enjoy anyway????
> 
> this is a WIP from like the middle of last year, so...... enjoy guys!!!!!!!!!!

Chloe walked into Lux. She wasn’t sure that she should have been there, but she was. She was also… she was worried about her partner. About Lucifer… He was… he had been acting strange… sad… sad and crying out for help by acting out and she was just… She was worried about him.

He was at the piano, looked like he had been there for a while. He was just staring at the keys but then… then he looked up and met her eyes with his like he sensed her presence. His eyes were dark and angry, but it wasn’t… It was like he hated himself, like he was angry at himself, and he had been earlier, but… This _was_ how he had been earlier, and she had been worried, and seeing him now, she was even more worried. He wasn’t drowning himself in alcohol anymore, but now that he was in his ‘natural habitat’ he looked… he looked rough. He stared at her for the longest time, like he was staring into her soul and she… she just let him look. Let him know she was there, and he could talk to her. 

He looked down at the keys for a fleeting moment and when he looked back up, his eyes were darker and hardened. Then, he started to play, and the song sounded vaguely familiar, but when he started to sing, she stopped trying to figure it out.

“ _You know better babe, you know better babe/ Than to look at it, look at it like that/ You know better babe, you know better babe/ Than to talk to it, talk to it like that_ ,” he sang, and he was looking straight at her. She didn’t quite know what this was about but… she knew this was how he decided he could tell her. She watched him sing, never looking away from him, from his eyes. 

He kept singing, and she was trying to figure out what he was trying to tell her. “ _Don't give it a hand, offer it a soul/ Honey, make this easy/ Leave it to the land, this is what it knows/ Honey, that's how it sleeps…_ ” he let his eyes close for the shortest moment, but then he opened them again and stared into her soul as he continued, “ _Don't let it in with no intention to keep it/ Jesus Christ, don't be kind to it/ Honey, don't feed it, it will come back_!” 

She watched him and the bitter smile he offered her didn’t prepare her for the next lines he sang. “ _You know better babe, you know better babe/ Than to smile at me, smile at me like that/ You know better babe, you know better babe/ Than to hold me just, hold me just like that_ ,” the look in his eyes when he stared at her… It almost broke her heart because it looked like his already was… “ _I know who I am when I'm alone/ Something else when I see you/ You don't understand, you should never know/ How easy you are to need…_ ” He never stopped staring at her and she… she never knew he felt like this. 

He sang the chorus again and he was just… He sounded like he was trying to get her leave him, but he… he needed her, needed a friend, (and in the song he’d basically said that he needed her, and that was enough for her to stay, for her to let him know that it was going to be okay) and this time, she was determined to be that friend. He played the piano without singing for a short moment, but he never looked away from her, and she gave him the same. “ _Can't be unlearned/ I've known the warmth of your doorways/ Through the cold, I'll find my way back to you/ Oh please, give me mercy no more/ That's a kindness you can't avoid!/ I want you baby tonight, as sure as you're born_ ,” he sang to her, almost in a haunted tone, and she felt the ache she saw in his eyes like it was her own. She… she had no idea that he thought of her like that… that he didn’t know he brought out the best in her. That she calmed him, tamed him, with just her presence was… She didn’t know how she felt about it… what that could mean for them… She didn’t want to keep him in a cage, but he said that he would keep coming back… Could it be called a cage if there were no walls and he was free to come and go whenever he wanted? And yes, she would like him to be more… dependable if she was going to be doing anything with the maybe feelings she might just have for him.

He looked away for the second time, and watched his hands on the piano for the briefest moment, and then as a few tears slipped from her eyes, he brought his back to hers, “ _You'll hear me howling outside your door/ Don't you hear me howling, babe?/ Don't you hear me howling, babe?/ Don't you hear me howling, babe?/ Don't you hear me howling/ Don't you hear me howling/ Don't you hear me howling, babe_?” With a last loud, deep chord, he stood.

She gaped at him as he walked straight to the elevator. She followed and waited as it took its sweet time coming back down. She was tapping her foot impatiently as she rode it upwards, and she… she didn’t quite know what she was going to say, but she wanted him to know that she was there for him. 

She found him at his bar upstairs. He was staring at his drink and not paying attention to the elevator at all. He didn’t even turn his head in her direction when he said, “Hello, darling…”

“Hey, Lucifer,” she said softly. “I just wanted to see if you were okay after today…”

He sighed, “Why wouldn’t I be alright after today?”

Chloe stared at him, disbelieving. “Lucifer, you asked a sniper to shoot you. More than once!” she shook her head. “Why wouldn’t I be worried about you?”

“I’m peachy,” he told her, scoffing into his drink. 

Chloe stared at him, and then quietly she said, “I thought you said you’d never lie to me, Lucifer…”

She watched him freeze, and then suddenly the glass in his hand shattered. He grunted in pain and Chloe gasped as blood started to pool on the bar. Before she could say a word, Lucifer turned to her and sneered. “You want the truth, Detective?” his voice was a deep growl. “You want to see the monster your _partner_ has always been?”

Chloe gasped as his flash melted away and his eyes burned red, and she backed into the wall breathing hard. Lucifer stopped advancing as soon as she hit the wall behind her and the burning anger in his eyes lessened but it didn’t fade. “Lucifer,” she breathed out.

He smirked bitterly, “This is what I am, Detective! This is what I’ll always be!” He was breathing harshly, and his eyes felt like they were burning into hers, but she was… she couldn’t look away. Not when he needed her. She stepped forward until she was in his space and then she brought a shaking hand up to his face. He froze as her fingertips grazed his face and the anger finally faded from his eyes and all that was left was a profound sadness that caused her heart to ache.

“Do you want me to help you with your hand?” she asked softly. 

She watched as he looked down and smiled sadly as his face relaxed in surprise, his normal face. She cradled his bleeding hand in both of her own and gently led him into his bathroom. She found a first aid kit under the bathroom sink and led him to sit on the toilet seat while she got ready to clean his wound. She knew he was watching her, that his brow was furrowed, and he was… She had no idea what was bothering him, but maybe now that she knew, he would tell her. 

She placed a towel over his leg and stood between his thighs as he sat. Her concentration was split between getting the glass out of his hand and watching his face. The muscles in his neck and jaw relaxed as he watched her hands on his. Chloe was glad that he was relaxing. As she pulled the last shard of glass out of the large cut on his palm, she let her fingers caress his and watched as his face went slack as he shuddered. “’Tective,” he murmured like it was pulled out of him and then sighed, blinking like he’d been zoned out. 

“Hmm?” she asked, brining a damp cloth to wipe some of the blood away. It seemed like it was already stopping, and now that she was looking at it, the cut didn’t seem deep. 

“How are you…” he sighed, and then he straightened and looked her in the eye. “I _broke_ Doctor Martin, Detective, how is it that you…” He was watching her like his heart had been torn in two and she was the only one left that could tape it back together. 

She sighed and shook her head fondly at him. As soon as she taped the gauze to his palm she placed a gentle hand on his face, “Oh, Lucifer…” He watched her with a furrowed brow, but once she leaned forwards and placed a kiss to his forehead, he relaxed just a little. “I know who you are. You’re a good man, a little reckless and apparently actually the Devil, but… You’ve never pretended to be someone you’re not…”

He scoffed. “Weren’t you listening in the club, Detective?” he laughed bitterly. 

“You’re not a monster, Lucifer,” she told him. 

“Then why did you look so horrified after I’d shown you my face?” he demanded, a little stilted in his delivery. 

“Because it looks like it hurt,” she said, her voice and tone even. It had. It looked like it hurt him so much.

Lucifer slumped back against the toilet, looking lost as he watched her. “It did…” he rasped after a long moment of just staring at her. She pulled on his arm until he stood with her, and then sat him down on the couch. She sat with him for a long moment, just waiting for him to say anything, but he was silent as he watched her. 

“Lucifer?” she asked. 

His eyes shot to hers. “I killed my brother…”

“Your… brother…” she stalled. She had an image of Amenadiel stabbed in the chest with one of Maze’s knives. Oh. Maze. If Lucifer was the Devil, she really was a demon! But… Maze was her friend and she was… extremely protective of both her and Trixie, so she dismissed her initial thoughts (or sidelined them, because there was definitely more to unpack there). 

“He caused your car accident…” he said, sounding hollow. “I know you don’t… but he did, Detective! And he threatened Mum and you! And I… He was going to kill you… We were fighting but I… I killed him…” He was staring out of the balcony window like he was lost. 

“Lucifer,” she called. He turned his head to look at her. “That sounds like self-defense if you were fighting…”

He shook his head and looked down at his hands. “He was my little brother…” he sighed. “Not that… not that he was a very _good_ brother… but he… he was still…”

Chloe placed a hand on Lucifer’s shoulder, and he flinched like he wasn’t expecting her touch to him as gently as she had earlier. Like he thought she was going to punish him. “I’m sorry you had to kill him, Lucifer,” she sighed, her eyes filled with hurt for him, for what he’d been forced to do. He’d said ‘little brother’ so she knew that he wasn’t talking about Amenadiel. She wondered if he had been close to any of his siblings before he… well, before the bible happened (which was definitely something that she would have to deal with later, because just… wow…). 

“How can do that?” he demanded, desperate for answers that she wasn’t sure she had. She frowned at him and he sighed, frustrated. “How can you… I should be punished,” he managed, looking away from her again. 

“You feel guilty for killing him, Lucifer. Killing someone when you have to, when you don’t have a choice… it can be very hard to deal with,” Chloe told him. She scooted closer to him; her side was pressed against his as he leaned forward with his elbows resting on his knees. She placed a hand on his forearm, and he covered it with his hand. “I told you that I knew you. I know you loved your brother, and you didn’t want to kill him, you just have to keep remembering why you did it… that’s what helped me.”

Lucifer turned his head towards her. “That bastard Malcolm?” he asked, disbelief coloring his tone. “You feel guilt for killing that mongrel?”

“Yeah, I do,” she told him, taking his hands in hers and turning him toward her. “But it was to save Trixie and… and I… I thought you were dead so I… You’re my partner and it… I thought he’d killed you…” 

“You felt guilty for protecting your daughter?” he asked. His head tilted a little and he watched her. “You shouldn’t…”

“Just like you shouldn’t feel guilty for protecting me,” she said, but he looked away from her like he was ashamed. She watched him for a moment, letting him trace his thumbs along the backs of her hands. “Would he have killed you?” she asked, letting herself think about him dying somewhere all alone, after desperately trying to save her… She fought off a shiver of her own, but her hands gripped his tighter. 

“Yes,” he sighed, looking up at her through his lashes. 

He looked so sad. She wanted to hold him for a while, to see if that would help him. “Lucifer…” she started. “Come here…” She tried to pull him into her arms, but he stood immediately and cleared his throat. 

“It’s getting rather late, Detective,” he cleared his throat again. “You should get back to your offspring…”

She didn’t tell him that Trixie was with Dan, but she stared up at him wishing that he would let her help him. “Yeah, I guess I should,” she said, quiet and resigned. She stood and as she waited for the elevator she watched him stand by the couch and stare at his hands. “I’m here for you, Lucifer,” she whispered just before she got into the elevator. “Whenever you need me, okay?” 

He looked up at her as the elevator was closing and watched her go like his heart was breaking. He had wanted nothing more than to let her hold him (how could he not?), but she was… and he would never deserve her. So he didn’t follow her like he desperately wanted to. Instead, he stayed where he was and wished that he wasn’t a coward. 

Over the next few days, Lucifer learned that working with Chloe before she knew what he was, was remarkably similar to working with her after she had found out. It was almost like nothing had changed. The only thing that was different was that she watched him with sad eyes when she thought he wasn’t looking (but she was the Detective, and lately he had been looking more and more). He wanted to tell her that he didn’t need her pity, wanted to snap at her, and he was tempted to more than once. But as he’d sang at her days and days ago, he couldn’t help but hang around her because she was the only one able to soothe him. 

He needed her, but he had no idea how to ask for what he wanted. And what did he want? He wanted her, but she could never want him. He was the Devil. Evil incarnate, the most despicable creature to ever walk the face of the earth, and here he was, wanting something that he knew he would never deserve. 

They were in her cruiser, just driving back from a bust, when they stopped at a red light. She turned her head to look at him, and he must have been lost in his thoughts because when she asked him if he was alright and touched his hand he jumped. 

“What is it, Detective?” he asked, straightening his cufflinks. 

She stared at him for a moment, and then looked away. “You just looked sad,” she sighed. And then, as she had been doing all week, she looked away and clenched her hands on the wheel, driving once the light turned green. 

“I’m fine,” he snarled. He watched Chloe stiffen in her seat and he let out a long breath. He’d hurt her… She’d been trying to help him, and he’d hurt her… just like he did everyone. “I… I apologize, Detective… Chloe… I…” he chucked bitterly. “I don’t mean to hurt you…”

“Then why do you?” she asked him, a tinge of pleading in her tone. Not enough to make her seem weak (as if Chloe Decker could ever be considered so), but enough that he knew she was upset with him, and rightly so. “It’s like you want my help, but you keep pulling away when I offer… and… Lucifer, I can only take so much…”

He looked down at his hands, stained with the blood of his brother and the sins of his lifetime. “I don’t deserve-” he started but Chloe cut him off. 

“What does anyone ‘deserve’?” her voice was raw and bitter. She sighed, and then steadier than before, she spoke. “Lucifer, if you need help, then let me help you. We can find you another therapist to talk to if you don’t want to talk to me…”

“They’d think the same thing as Doctor Martin, that I was delusional and am beyond help if I don’t ‘stop living in my own metaphor’!” he scoffed. They were silent for a while. “It’s not that I don’t want to talk about it with you, darling, it’s just… I’m not… I’m a little… the things I’ve done… they’re not… you’re human, how could you- understand the…”

“So it’s like, complicated celestial stuff, angel math or something?” Chloe sighed, “I’m not an idiot Lucifer, I-”

“The number of souls I’ve personally tortured is more than you could imagine,” he started, angry, surprising himself. “Sometimes when one of them would scream, it would be all I could hear for days even if I was torturing someone else…” He watched as she took that in, her hands clenching and unclenching on the wheel. “ _That_ is why I can’t believe that you would think me anything other than a monster…” he sighed and looked out the window, trying not to think about how she was about to give up on him. 

They didn’t talk for the rest of the ride, but once she turned off the car she stopped him before he got out of the car. “You never wanted to be the Devil, right? Never wanted to torture anyone…” she was staring him in the eyes, and he couldn’t bring himself to look away. “You didn’t like torturing them…” she said, it was like she could read his mind and he shook his head. “Do you want to know how I know that, Lucifer?” she asked. He just stared at her, begging her to have some sort of mercy on him. “Because I know who you are.”

Lucifer’s eyes closed. “And who is that?” his throat was dry, and he knew he sounded ragged. 

“My partner,” she told him. He scoffed at her. “You like how working with me makes you feel, you are always willing to help your friends, and right now, you need someone, but you don’t know how to ask…” He looked up and caught her eyes. She nodded at him with a soft, sad smile. “You don’t have to ask, Lucifer,” she whispered. He nodded, and she sighed softly, her smile still in place. “I’ll meet you at your place in an hour okay?” she told him. “Go home and relax. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

When Chloe was finally done with all of the urgent paperwork for the case they had just closed, she made her way to Lux, worrying at her lip during the entire trip. She hoped that Lucifer was still willing to let her help. There were a lot of things bothering him, things he would have talked to his therapist about but… She wasn’t sure what she could do to help him. For all their similarities there were some things about them that were very different. And she was suddenly at a loss of how to help him… He was… he was the Devil; his father was God and all of that was suddenly real and-

The valet opened the door for her and shocked her out of the panic attacked she’d been working herself into. Lucifer had insisted long ago that she got free valet service when she visited (the keys were hung in the garage by the elevator door so she could leave whenever she liked, he’d also made sure that she had a permanent parking spot amongst his many classic cars, right next to his corvette), so she handed off her keys and walked past the bouncer with a nod of her head. In the elevator she made herself focus on how she could try to help Lucifer. Maybe he could help her too, she had so many questions…

He was sitting in one of his chairs on the edge of his seat with his elbows on his knees. His glass was hanging from the tips of his fingers as he stared at the bookcase across the room. “Hello, darling,” he greeted her, but he didn’t turn towards her. 

“Hey,” she replied. Their quiet breathing was the only sound in the room for a moment, but then she sighed. “Lucifer, come and sit on the couch with me?” she asked, holding a hand out to him. 

He stared at her hand for a moment, but then took it in his and weaved their fingers together. She smiled as she led him to the couch. She watched him as he settled and then she scooted as close to him as she could without him giving her a puzzled look. They stared at each other for a few moments. “Now what?” he asked.

“Now, you talk to me if you feel like it,” she said. “If you don’t want to talk we can just sit here. We can watch a movie. I can give you a hug,” she shrugged. “Anything you need.”

Lucifer’s eyebrow raised and he smirked, “ _Anything_?” 

Chloe rolled her eyes but let a small smile escape onto her face. “Lucifer,” was all she had to say.

He sighed and looked away from her. She thought that he would have a hard time talking to her, to anyone close to him. “I don’t know what you want from me, Detective,” he said, turning back to her, his brows furrowed. 

Chloe shook her head. “I _don’t_ want anything from you,” she said, and she placed a gentle hand on his forearm. “I’m just here for you if you need me.” He huffed out a breath in frustration. “You can sit here and think, and I can stay here… or would you like me to go sit in the other room?” she asked. She stood, but Lucifer pulled on the hand she had forgotten he was still holding. 

“Stay?” he asked at a whisper. 

“Okay,” she said.

Lucifer tugged her closer and she ended up sitting against his side, his arm over her shoulder. This was closer than they usually were, and Chloe was suddenly surrounded by his cologne. Sandalwood and vanilla. It made her smile and try not to be too obvious when she took a deep breath. He huffed a chuckle out of his nose, practically in her hair, and she tried to hide her blush with a cough. As they relaxed, Lucifer sighed. “I don’t know how to get Doctor Martin to… to stop…” He sighed, shaking his head. “I don’t suppose anyone could change their mind about a monster…” 

“You’re not a monster, Lucifer,” Chloe told him. “A monster wouldn’t work for the police, wouldn’t bring donuts and coffee to the precinct just because they felt like it, and sure, sometimes you steal people’s food out of the fridge, but who doesn’t?”

Lucifer’s eyes narrowed. “I’ve never seen you steal food out of the precinct fridge…” 

Chloe’s eyes widened and she cleared her throat, turning away. It was an obvious tell, and it was to give him the moment of levity that she knew he wanted to have. “Its when you’re not there…” she told him, not looking. 

Lucifer grinned, “Vending machine sandwiches not quite hitting the spot?” 

“Shut up,” she sighed, elbowing him in the side. He grinned wider (somehow) and laughed as her face turned red against her will. “Sometimes I don’t want to eat a chicken salad sandwich…” she pouted. 

“Darling, all you have to do is call me and I can bring you anything you’d like to eat at any time of the night,” he told her. 

She smiled and rested her head on his shoulder. They didn’t have anything to say to each other, not really, but something was bothering her. “Lucifer… how can you think you’re a monster when you offer to do something like that for someone?” her voice was quiet, and she grabbed at the hand he had sitting on his knee. 

He froze, but he didn’t protest when she pulled his hand into her lap. “Hardly, darling,” he said, relaxing against her (and when had they come so close to each other? When had his arm fallen down onto her shoulder? Where had the space between them gone?), “it’s for purely selfish reasons, I assure you…”

“Oh?” she challenged. 

He shook his head and sighed, “If I were to tell you it’s because I always want to be near you, would you believe me?”

She looked up at him, their eyes catching, and she went a little breathless at the look in his eyes. “You said you would never lie to me,” she managed, her voice soft.

He seemed surprised that she remembered their moment in her car during one of their first cases. What he didn’t know is that she kept that memory close, especially after Dan’s involvement in Palmetto (she could forgive him, but she would never forget). “Yes… I did,” he said. 

“I’d believe you,” she said. He seemed like he was at a loss for words, so she spoke again. “Have I ever lied to you?” she asked.

“You told me ‘you found me repulsive on a chemical level’ when we first met,” he teased, soft and gentle like his fingers were against her palm. 

“I wasn’t lying when I told you that,” she gave him a look, the one she always gave him when his flirting was _almost_ more than a little bit over the top. 

“Then, no, darling, I don’t think you’ve ever lied to me,” he said, a small smile covering the corner of his mouth.

She sobered slightly, before she asked him, almost pleaded, “Then why don’t you believe me when I tell you that you’re a good man?”

He looked away from her. “I… I don’t know…”

Chloe nodded. “That’s okay. I can help you figure it out, but maybe we can try to get Linda to talk to you again? It seemed like she was really helping you…”

“Yes, I’d… I’d like to try, at least…” he said, a small smile on his face. “I don’t think I left her in the best state of mind…” He sighed and looked back down at her. 

She watched him watch her and laughed when he tweaked the tip of her nose. “Don’t touch my nose,” she wrinkled it at him and wacked his chest with the back of her hand. 

Suddenly, Lucifer’s hands were cupping her head. She blinked up at him and then closed her eyes as he thumbed at her cheeks, just stroking the skin there. His eyes were darting all over her face, like he was trying to memorize her features. She covered his hands with hers and sighed. He was always so gentle when he touched her. “You’re such a marvel, Detective…” he finally said, barely a whisper.

She pulled away from him and shook her head. “I’m just a normal human,” she shrugged. 

He hummed in acknowledgement. “And I’m a regular Devil,” he smirked. And then he kissed her. He kissed her and she let him, and sure, there was so much to figure out (and Lucifer really did need to keep going to therapy because there was no way she was going to be able to deal with him at full ‘I’m the Devil everything’s about me’ volume), but he was kissing her and she definitely, sort of wanted him to. His lips were soft, and he gasped when she parted her lips a little, but he didn’t go farther than that. Though, neither of them could stop the lingering kisses they stole as they were trying to pull away from each other. 

Neither of them said a word about their kiss after they pulled away, but Chloe sat as close to him as she could manage. For once, Lucifer let her stay there for as long as she wanted to. She was sure he was about to fall asleep, so she woke him up. “You should take your shoes off,” she told him. 

“My shoes?” he asked, looking down at them, bemused.

“To prove to me that you don’t have goat feet.”

“Goat fe- Detective!” 

Chloe turned her head away from him, trying her hardest not to smile too big. “You don’t have horns, and I want to know about your feet.”

“Horns? Of course I don’t have-” he cut himself off and then, slowly, started to smirk. “You wanted me to have horns, then?” he purred. 

She turned red and looked away. “No!”

He leaned back and pulled her closer. “If you insist, darling, but remember what I keep telling you about your desires,” he grinned, and she shivered at his voice. 

“Shut up, Lucifer,” she told him, but she leaned against him and watched the last of the sun slip out of the sky.


End file.
